Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
look no pants
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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