Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
