I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
