Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
