I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
All I want is dick and wine.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
