Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
