so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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