it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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