I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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