Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
