Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
You need a sexual gate keeper
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
