watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize