I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
