could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
