Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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