I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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