yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.