Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.