hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
