just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
