ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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