well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
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You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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