Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
