dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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