Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
