Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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