Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
