OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Randomize
