Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
a search helicopter?!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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