Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize