It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
