I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
