I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
