worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
