I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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