Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
And then he peed in my hair
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