you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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