Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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