The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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