things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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