she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize
