i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
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