why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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