I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
