Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
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I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
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