I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
