woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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