I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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