Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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