if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
