just come out here and I will go home with you...
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
