i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
