The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
