Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
COCAINE IS GR8
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
