Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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