i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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