yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
