Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
