At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
