When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
