So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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