Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Randomize
