I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
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you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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