Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
