In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
