yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
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