and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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