He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
