Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
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