Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
