I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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