Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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