Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
