Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Randomize
